When Grief Lives in the Body: Herbal Allies in a Season of Loss

My uncle transitioned recently.

And for the first time in my life, I am acutely aware of how grief moves through the body.

My back burns.
My sciatica has flared.
Inflammation has risen.
My breath feathers in and out as if my lungs are unsure how much air they are allowed to take in.

I sigh often.
Not dramatically.
Just enough to catch my breath.

As someone who teaches plant medicine, who holds space in my community, who is often the one steadying others — this has been humbling.

Because right now, I am the one needing steadying.

Grief is not just emotional. It taxes the adrenals. It agitates the nerves. It challenges the respiratory rhythm. It can feel like your energy is literally draining out of you.

And so I am doing what I know to do.

I am turning to my herbal allies — not to erase grief, but to support my body as it processes it.

Oats (Avena sativa)

Milky oats top in tincture and tea are my nervous system foundation right now. Oats nourish the myelin sheath that insulates the nerves. They decrease stress reactivity without sedation. They help me feel like I can function without completely numbing myself out.

Grief can fray the nerves. Oats gently knits them back together.

Ashwagandha ( Withania somnifera)

Ashwagandha is my adrenal embrace.

When we experience loss, we expend enormous emotional energy. Even when we are sitting still, the body is working. Ashwagandha supports resilience. It does not overstimulate; it restores.

It reminds the adrenals that they we are fully supported.

Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca)

Motherwort has been indispensable.

Grief can feel like a weight pressing down on the sternum, on our bodies, and our minds. Motherwort helps lift that feeling. She doesn’t take the grief away but helps carry the burden and weight.

She steadies palpitations, softens anxiety, and gives emotional buffering from the from the outside world. She ensures that I am not buried beneath what I am feeling.

Hawthorn Leaf  (Crataegus monogyna)

This is a matter of the heart.

Hawthorn is one of the greatest heart tonics we have — physically and emotionally. It strengthens cardiac tone, supports vascular health, and fortifies the emotional heart.

Grief affects circulation. It alters breath cadence. It disrupts rhythm.

Hawthorn can restore that rhythm bringing with it a sense of peace and balance. 

Rose buds and petals (Rosa centifolia)

Rose is teaching me something deeper.

Rose strengthens the heart — but more than that, she transforms grief into devotion. She helps shift loss into remembrance. She widens the heart instead of closing it.

Rose allows appreciation to live beside sorrow.

Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis)

And Lemon balm — for the nervous system and inflammation.

Lemon balm calms excess sympathetic activation. It cools the heat of emotional stress. It supports digestion and soothes tension.

When grief spikes cortisol, Lemon balm brings gentleness.

In Chinese medicine, grief is linked to the lungs.
In Ayurveda, emotional depletion aggravates Vata and drains Ojas — our deep vitality reserve. This leaves me with mind fog, inability to think straight, a feeling of breathlessness and little to no energy.

What I am experiencing is what millions of people experience everyday. It's biological... The breath becomes shallow. The back tightens. Inflammation increases. My energy wanes.

The chemistry of grief is metabolized through the body.

And plants help us metabolize those chemicals...

Why Flower Essences Matter Right Now

Alongside my herbal allies, I am leaning into flower essences — especially Rose flower essence.

Flower essences work at the vibrational level. They do not push the body. They do not alter physiology directly. They inform it.

Rose flower essence supports:

– Softening heartbreak
– Allowing vulnerability without collapse
– Transforming grief into reverence
– Reopening the heart after shock

For those who are new to plant medicine, flower essences are one of the safest ways to begin. They work subtly with emotional patterns and nervous system regulation.

They are not about suppression. They are about recalibration.

If you would like to learn more about Flower Essences, how they work and how to create them I welcome you to our next retreat..

Journey with the Flowers
Flower Essence Immersion Retreat

Saturday, March 28
10am–5pm
Energy exchange $300
Lunch and materials included
Payment plans available
Space is limited
Pre-registration required

This was the Buddha statue outside of his home. Tattered and broken still revered with love.

In this retreat, we will explore how to work with plants at the vibrational level — how to select, prepare, and integrate flower essences into daily life and clinical practice.

Whether you are seasoned or just beginning, this is foundational work.

Grief has reminded me of something I teach often:

Plant medicine is not for when everything is perfect.
It is for when life moves us.

Right now, I am not the teacher. I am the student.

And I am making space in my life for the plants to hold me.